Frustrated.

You know that time when you just couldn't find the right thing to say. I think I'm perpetually in this situation. I mean, percentage-wise, I'm doing fine. I'd say less than 5% of the time I'm not saying what I should be. Ain't it a bitch that this is the part that defines you?

Of course I can't be sure how much of this is fact. I mean, I sure do think that people are judging based solely on these 3 minutes, but I guess I could be wrong.

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster here. I feel like a coach, but I'm just the captain, and I feel like I have my teammates respect, but then I can't get them to listen during practice, much less focus during a full game. The best part was being called "unprofessional" because I got irritated when people were talking in the huddle... I'm not sure exactly where to go with that. I mean, I'm the captain of an Ultimate team. At a D-III university. We don't even play on a flat field. What part of this would require me to be "professional"? Not sure. Funny how sometimes they don't realize I'm still their teammate, and it's not about being "professional," it's about learning a skill to play a game. It's also about getting things explained in such a manner that allows us to use as much daylight as possible. Why waste time giggling and gossiping when we could just play the game?

I guess this could be an argument for why Ultimate teams should have coaches. You can't be a cohesive team as long as there is one voice that stands above the others. Caution: sarcasm doesn't translate so well in writing... I suppose there is chatter during the huddle because we are the best at what we do. I mean, why should you listen if you are at the top of your game? Why should you improve if you are the best?

All I know is things aren't always what they are peceived to be. I feel like people don't understand my motives. Everything I am striving to do should help us win. That is you and me. US. I don't intend on knowingly hindering our opportunity for success. I'm trying. I'll be damned if I stop. I'll continue to push forward hoping that we will rise as a team. As I've been elected to captain, I feel it is necessary to bring in as much outside knowledge as I can find. Invites to these sources will be sent out, we have voices of experience coming in to each practice. Broaddus, Los, Jared, Dave... They're not here to cheer, they're here because they have fallen in love with the same game I have, they have the same passion for sportsmanshio, competition, and comraderie, and they enjoy every opportunity to be an ambassador to this sport. Our sport. I hope we can take a moment to listen to what they have to say, I would have to bet it would be worth our time.